The Señorita Leaves
Finally. I get to wear this beautiful dress for church today, plus I got to take nice photos! I got this late last year from Debenhams, and I've always wanted to style it to look like a Spanish señorita. 💖
This dress is perfect for plus size women because the ruffle is pretty thick. It also has a garterized waist that is accentuated even more with a tie-belt.
What I wore
Debenhams off-shoulder dress with slits | Salty Ripples choker | Hue Manila heels
Sucks that my bangs can't be completely concealed right now because it's still short. Ack! Note to self: RESIST THE URGE TO GET FULL BANGS IN THE FUTURE. Never again. It's a hassle to maintain and I always, always, always end up hiding it (hence the bobby pins).
If you notice some obvious blurred parts on the floor in the photos, don't mind it. Kita kasi yung drain and I wanted to erase it. I'm still a noob at Photoshop, so that's the best I can do for now. 😞
Truth be told, I am back to square one of sobriety. Today is day 1 again. I don't want to overanalyze myself anymore, wracking my brains on why I let my impulses and addictions get the best of me right after publishing my previous post on sobering up this 2017. It's not going to do me any good, anyway.
I'm not saying I'm not going to figure out my triggers and patterns... I just don't want to get caught up in the shame and the self-condemnation anymore. I already know where that will lead me, and it's always the opposite of the direction I wish to go.
OK 'di ko matiis—perhaps I was waiting to be emotionally ready to quit again. But fuck that!!! It's been almost another week of isolation and numbness, and I know I just had to snap out of it AGAIN. Feelings are fleeting, and I should know better than rely on emotions to quit some things that do not benefit me any longer.
I'm just dusting myself off, getting back up, and leaving it all behind. O diba, may konek sa outfit ko.
Leaving it behind = leaves. LOL. Sorry na. 😝
Leaving it behind = leaves. LOL. Sorry na. 😝
So yeah, here's to restarting. Kalurky. I'm gonna keep trying. There is no other way, anyway. This time, I'm gonna stop relying not on my own strength but God's. I already know it's impossible for me to go through a year sober without divine help and guidance. I need JESUS, because NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH HIM. Kakapit lang me. Tiwala lang! 😄
Wearing The Balm Matte Hughes lippie in Adoring.
Here's to grace.
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